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omgwutsayu in dn_sues

Or Series Title: A world without a genius is so boring ! Near
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: star-struck-imagination

Full Name (plus titles if any): Rinnu Nagasaki (Though having been at Wammy's House, she has no codename.)
Full Species(es): you!Sue (I thought it was a rule they weren't allowed names?)
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Long black hair, with dark purple streaks"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "red to yellow eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): A fully furnished high class apartment her father bought her ten years ago (the Sue is eighteen in this story).

Annoying Origin: Was placed in Wammy's House by her grandfather to learn how to become a better criminal. Mello and Near both were in love with her and fought over her, then Mello is the one who becomes Kira and kills off the Sue's family, prompting the Sue to join up with Near to gain vengeance.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Knew L. Was in love with Near since she was five. Mello and Near both fought over her.
Annoying Special Abilities: Since childhood, has been able to "see spirits , especially the Shinigami." Gackt immediately came to mind, though I doubt he's claimed connections to shinigami.
Other Annoying Traits: Saves Near from his traitorous bodyguards. Or just random people who are after him, I'm not sure which. The story format is extremely odd. Has what's supposed to be amazing sex with Near at the end but reads...badly.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

-“I’m not certain that Mello is Kira , but I know that he know that guy , cuz he was the only one , besides you , that knew who my family was … My grandpa was an ex-convict , but he retired from the drug business since I was born … he was the one that send me to that school to learn to think like L … but I was too different from you and Mello…I had my own personality …I loved my grandpa … but he along with my grandma and 2 of my cousins were killed … under my gaze… they were forced by something to drag me to a place as they took their life in front of my eyes . I was tied up to a chair with a cloth in my mouth and I couldn’t do a thing …. I sow the tears of regret in their eyes … Now… I know that I cant bring them back , but I would like to know why Kira killed them …why Mello told him to kill my family …. But I suspect that Light Yagami is implicated in this… I don’t know how to tell you this , but I watched him for a wail now and I know that he has to know Kira …” you said , your voice cut in your throat , when you tried to tell Near about your theory .

He killed them so you angst over it. Question answered. Happy now?

I thought at first this was written by someone pretending to be a non-native English speaker...

Comments

(Anonymous)

"...when you tried to tell Near about your theory." -"Tried" being the operative word here, I guess, since I doubt that Near understood anything of Sue's tedious, grammatarded monologue.

And is it just me, or is it a bit strange that Sue's family had "tears of regret" in their eyes when they killed themselves in front of the sue? If I remember correctly, people under the influence of the death note usually go into some sort of trance-like state, like zombies...so they shouldn't be able to feel regret, or any kind of emotion, as they die. Then again, I could be wrong.

~fish
I got as far as "Connections to Canon" and had to stop. I mean....what the fudge...?
(I don't know if swearing is allowed here, sorry.)

I mean, just....Good God...

(Anonymous)

StarStruckImagination

What the fuck was ur problem anyway. I don't care what unbelievable grammatical errors i have made, i don't care how horrible my story is, but, if i know my manners well enough, i would say that u first ask the fucking author what the heck he or she did there and then post something like this on a average site, with the comment like :
'oh shit! This stupid whore made a story about my precious Death Note Characters! Oh, i have an idea lets make out shit about her!' - well fuck me if u believe so!
First of all : i don't speak English on a normal basis ok? I may have some typing mistakes, yes, i am guilty of those! Shoot me then!
Second: If u have stories like this, why in God's name are u reading them.
U pretend to be a scandal publicist? U think that making ppl look bad in front of other - other that think they are so great and thus showing me that they are a bunch of morons with brain the size of a flea, than don't even know me and just read this God forsaken comment of yours about my story and nothing else cuz they thing that they are so great even if the lack everything from imagination to common sense - u don't even come to me and tell me how a horrible writer i am.
Oh, excuse me for making a story that isn't as perfect as the original- which, by the way, i have watched but i thought that a side story that isn't like the original would be great - .
Bloody hell , i didn't make the story for the likes of you or your pathetic little friends who just look at one thing and thats all they are capable to do.
Why do you think u are so great compared to me? Why do u think that this story of mine is so bad?
Show me then a story that u think is great!
Oh, wait!
U cant!
U are such a stuck-up bitch that u cant appreciate fair enough a story to say or honest impression without pointing out all the little and unimportant details : like 'Why the fuck doesn't she have a code name? '
She doesn't need one, she just operates with her out id.
Moreover, who the hell gave u permission to put my address there to make fun of me if u have never read any of my other stories. I don't remember giving u permission, considering the fact that those are my stories and my address .
I don't care what u wrote about me in this stupid article, i don't are what u will write in the future, but remember this : only ppl with no life and too much time on they hands can do this kind of stuff.
I really feel sorry for you and your pathetic friends .
~Good daY

(Anonymous)

Re: StarStruckImagination

1st: Learn english. Or type it in your language.
2nd, Why do we read these? We don't hate them, we find them REALLY FUNNY.
3rd: "I don't care what u wrote about me in this stupid article" ... |: You obviously care enough about this to write a bigass tl;dr butthurt comment about your awful fic.
4th: Posting bad stories/characters all over the internet is a great way to show beginning writers how NOT to write.
So thank you for your stories for both educational and...especially entertainment purposes. CB
~ ;D G'day.
PS: Stories like yours also helps the self-esteem of bad writers. Reading fanfics like yours makes their stories all-the-more awesome, and them feel much better about themselves.

(Anonymous)

Re: StarStruckImagination

AHAHAHAHAHAHA