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Jan. 31st, 2009

Smile!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

Story Or Series Title: KLMMN
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Kawatta-Kuro-Raikou

Full Name (plus titles if any): K. Had originally been codenamed Kira but switched to a single letter because of the criminal Kira gaining notoriety. Also goes by the additional alias "Yuki-chan." All we get of her real name is her first name, which is Kiya.
Full Species(es): voodoomaster-Near-girlfriend Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): long black hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): green
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): voodoo dolls of Near, Mello, Matt, and L; an unnamed illness requiring her "to have cold weather at all times or she'll die again"

Annoying Origin: L took her in when she was a month old. Though a Wammy's House kid--and living in the UK--she still had time to become the keyboardist for Misa's backup band in LA, by or before the age of fourteen, but then Misa went solo--while the Sue was still 14--and L decided the Sue should come work with him on the Kira Investigation.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: L's been responsible for her since she was a month old, she and Near are lovers and she's always known his and L's real names, is friends with Mello and Matt.
Annoying Special Abilities: Is "skilled more then anyone else at voodoo."
Other Annoying Traits: She and Near "flirt" by inflicting violence on each other via voodoo dolls.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

She's deathly allergic to heat yet she moved to a hot climate and never bothered getting air conditioning? She's a Wammy's House kid, it's not like she couldn't afford it.Collapse )

The heat makes her DIE!Collapse )

You could probably make a drinking game out of many times the Suethor points out how closely her Sue is connected with the canon characters.Collapse )

Do all Suethors have some sort of conspiracy that requires them to retcon Light's downfall into being completely boring?Collapse )

- crossposted to marysues

Jan. 30th, 2009

Smile!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

Story Or Series Title: Some Will Change
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: NothingThere2Hurt

Full Name (plus titles if any): Tabitha Vegliacich, better known as "Tabby."
Full Species(es): demonic-Lolita!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): short black hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): "piercing green eyes" that stare "like a peeping tom through a window."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "very pale skin and you could almost see through her she was so thin."
Special Possessions (if any): "a silver half-face plate that covered her left part of her forehead and her eye and cheek." A BFF named Shelby who already has a Death Note and shinigami, though this seems to have to little to do with the actual story.

Annoying Origin: She's a 14-year-old who bumps into Light as he's waiting to kill Ray Penbar. Light "couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She was just so simple, it was complicated. He started to talk to her and get to know her, and ever since, they’ve been going out."
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Light's true love. Ryuuk acts like a rapist around her. Hangs around with Light and L.
Annoying Special Abilities: getting possessed by a serial killer from the early 80s, dying by turning to dust after an exorcism is performed on her and then becomes a demon to come back to life.
Other Annoying Traits: Thinking Light would date a 14-year-old and hang out with her when he has L with him. Makes Ryuuk evil and has him threaten to write the Sue's name in his own notebook, which causes Light to panic, trip, and knock his notebook to the ground, allowing the Sue to pick it up and be able to see Ryuuk, who then kidnaps her.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Well, I'll give the Suethor this, L IS in character. For the moment.Collapse )

I don't think the person who wrote this has ever watched Death Note. Or read the manga.Collapse )

Oooh, someone's shooting a gun! It must be KIRA!!Collapse )

Possessed by a serial killer from the 80s.Collapse )

Don't worry, she turned to ash but that totally doesn't matter. It was just a dramatic set up to her becoming a DEMONIC Loli.Collapse )

Oh wait, she has to officially register as a demon. And she dies. Or gets brought back to life. It's one or the other, but either way, she and Light no longer know each other and I think the whole Kira storyline's been undone by this.Collapse )

Jan. 28th, 2009

What?! No! For real?!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

Tonight's story was your basic too-much-Sue-not-enough-plot fanfic, which gained a grand total of three reviews telling the author it was a Sue, so the Suethor ended things with a fifth chapter that reaches one hundred and forty-three words if you include the fanfic title and A/N (Well, I got a nasty comment about my spell, so yo shut up! Ok It was like 10:30 at night when I wrote them on the trip. And who the heck is this Mary Sue person keep bring up…..Yes I’m Mega-Clueless.).

Story Or Series Title: Outcast
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: -1_3_Roxy

Full Name (plus titles if any): Codename: Kia; Real Name: Akira Takeishi
Full Species(es): fashion template-instead-of-a-person!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): At age 13: "long blonde hair," "Black streaks ran through her dirty blonde hair"; age twenty: "blonde hair and black streaks cut to her mid-neck"
Eye Color (include adjectives): green-gray
Unusual Markings/Colorations: It's supposed to be noticeable just looking at her that she's got pale skin while looking "like she had just gone to a tanning salon." Why this is important, I don't know, but it's the second sentence of the story, wedged between two descriptions of her hair.
Special Possessions (if any): a lot of black and gold trendy clothing and accessories.

Annoying Origin: Her rich parents don't want her so they drop her off at Wammy's House. Because getting rid of your kid is that easy, and it's not like Wammy's House is a top-secret training institute for genius children and you'd have to prove you could fit in there...oh wait.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: L, Matt, Mello, and Near are all at Wammy's House at the same time and instantly want to be friends with her. At twenty, she goes to Japan to work with Mello and Matt on the Kira case.
Annoying Special Abilities: To exist for five entire chapters with absolutely no plot ever coming in.
Other Annoying Traits: Is brought in for no reason other than to hook up with Matt. Chapter One, she's introduced, plays in a sandbox with Near, plays Truth or Dare with the boys. Chapter 2, it's suddenly seven years later and with no explanation, she's arriving in Japan to work on the Kira case, yet all she does is flirt with Mello and Matt, play video games, watch a movie, have dinner, and then share a bed with Matt for the night, which causes Mello to get bitchy when he finds out about it the next morning. There's not even an attempt to show she possesses anything at all that would make her belong in Wammy's House, let alone be brought in on something as huge a deal as the Kira Investigation.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Obligatory description of the Sue.Collapse )

Clothing and accessory details aren't plot!Collapse )

HOW DARE YOU CALL ME BABE!!Collapse )

Jan. 26th, 2009

Smile!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

There are twenty-two fics that are categorized as "Complete" out of a grand total of 66 mpreg Death Note stories on the Pit.

...I was happier not knowing that.

Story Or Series Title: It all began with a curse
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Mimi-Mako

Full Name (plus titles if any): Trey and Mimi
Full Species(es): self-insert Sues
Hair Color (include adjectives): Trey has purple hair. Mimi has red hair.
Eye Color (include adjectives): n/a
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Mimi--I think--has attire "of something that wouldn’t be worn in the winter months. On her chest was what appeared to be nothing more than a simple cloth wrapped around her boobs, and on her lower half was nothing more than a towel." I'd say that stands out a bit.
Special Possessions (if any): the ability to curse male pregnancy on men who don't give in to unreasonable demands; "a bit of dyslexia" in that one of them cannot tell the difference between 18 and 81 (I'm pretty sure this was meant to be "funny"; stereotypical online-diagnosed ADD behavior (presumably further attempts at humor).

Annoying Origin: They've been dumped/cheated on by numerous boys (my guess is for being obnoxious) so now they "get back" at men who never did anything to them by using a robotic fortune teller to approach these completely random men, who, if rude to the robot, get hit up by random bouts of mpreg. This may well be the worst idea for a fanfic ever, IMO.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: play midwives to Mello
Annoying Special Abilities: mpreg cursing. Having high-tech medical equipment in a shack.
Other Annoying Traits: They're self-inserts who impregnate Mello. I'm not sure it gets more annoying than that.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

You're a robot, you don't need a coat. Or to be cursing people who need that coat more than you for not giving it up to you.Collapse )

Matt gives Mello a pink dress and they go on a date, where Mello needs Matt's help to figure out whether he should use the Men's room or the Women's.Collapse )

Stupid baby names.Collapse )

I was going to feature this one 57-chapter craptacular, because it was Near-mpreg and that in itself is WTF even for DN, but it was the most boring thing I'd ever read, which is saying a lot.

Jan. 25th, 2009

Pouty Face!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

Despite the ending, this one is not by the same Suethor who did A Weaklings Heart, unless that one has multiple ff.net accounts.

I thought due to my current illness I'd be more sympathetic towards a sick!Sue but this one just made me question everything...and the name kept me in mind of Liberty Belle, which annoyed me. Pretty names instead of useful names for Wammy's House kids tend to grate on my nerves.

Story Or Series Title: Love Sickness
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Kisitiene

Full Name (plus titles if any): Liberty ("Real name, Unknown"--according to narrative, which is in the third person, and near the end plainly states her real name as "Elizabeth Waters". I wish ficcers doing Wammy's House stories would learn to use "confidential" instead of "unknown".)
Full Species(es): tragically-ill-yet-sweet-as-a-saint martyr Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): "Long brown hair worn back in a pony tail"
Eye Color (include adjectives): "hazel eyes peering out in adolescent innocence" (Adolescent and innocence are not words I'd pair together. Then again, I wouldn't be using adolescent in any sort of descriptions for a nine-year-old in the first place.)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: a white surgical mask
Special Possessions (if any): an unnamed illness that leaves her "very weak" and "submit to coughing fits" while being "bed ridden for great lengths of time." But don't worry, our plucky Sue "never let[s] it get her down. She stayed strong and worked just as hard, if not harder, than everyone else. She wanted to show everyone that despite her disease she could still be the best of the best"!

Annoying Origin: "one of the many children living in Wammy House to be raised to be a detective of immense intelligence." While a sick part of me loves the idea of Watari being this evil baby-snatcher who experiments on infants to try and train them from the very start into being brilliant...even if this were a ploy of his, I have trouble seeing him use many children as an experiment. Especially when there's no shortage of already brilliant non-baby children who can molded and used faster. And that sounds really disgusting, so I'm going to shut up now, on that point at least.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Watari takes time away from assisting L to worry over her health, L allows her barge into and hang out in his room, is in love with Mello
Annoying Special Abilities: Mello is instantly rendered a tattletale whenever he sees anyone bugging her, and is able to report directly to L about this.
Other Annoying Traits: For contrived angst, conveniently turns the whole of Wammy's House stupid; all the other kids believe the Sue killed another child through giving cough-infested cookies, despite the fact that L points out to the Sue that the Sue was too young to cook when that incident occurred and the child who died was already ill. You would think L might've mention either of these to the kids shunning the Sue, as everyone thinks L's God, then again, if this story used logic, we'd be down on angst points and have only the tragic, unnamed illness to work with.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

To be fair, I wouldn't want to eat something given by someone coughing non-stop either, even if they had been wearing a mask. I'm not even comfortable cooking for other people when I'm the one having coughing fits.Collapse )

I swear I've seen this ending somewhere else. Oh wait. It was three entries down.Collapse )

- crossposted to marysues

Jan. 24th, 2009

Smile!

omgwutsayu

...at least she has flaws...?

Evening/morning, fellow fanthings, I was disgustingly ill (and disgusting is a necessary word here) since Tuesday, which is why there've been a lack of updates.

Story Or Series Title: A Turn Of Conversation
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Annimaye

Full Name (plus titles if any): Hajamishi Akira (though at Wammy's House, she does not seem to have a codename--Akira is her given name even in flashbacks.)
Full Species(es): orphan Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): n/a
Eye Color (include adjectives): n/a
Unusual Markings/Colorations: a toothy grin
Special Possessions (if any): a bed-wetting habit developed from trauma, arguably infantile behavior before said trauma occurred (starts off the story playing peek-a-boo a little too enthusiastically for someone who's eight at the very earliest).

Annoying Origin: "Whisked off to" Wammy's House after her parents are tragically murdered right in front of her back in her expensive, majestic home in Japan.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Roger cares about her. Near saves her from spiders. Matt and Mello for no reason hang out in her room.
Annoying Special Abilities: Has Roger thinking he's 42. And that the Sue's one tragedy is a "deeper story" than all that's happen within his "42" years, despite the fact he works for L.
Other Annoying Traits: Inconsistency (one example: Wammy's House--which always looked upper class to my eyes--is now bug-infested, and the bedrooms have "filthy, cheap old curtains that even had cobwebs stuck onto them,"; inexplicably throwing in character studies consisting of clothing descriptions, hair color, and pointing out the obvious ("Uhm…you kinda like those video games, ne, Matt-kun?", "Uh, Mello-kun, are you that fanatical over chocolate?"); not seeming to know how old her character is (behavior at the start of the fic seems more likely of someone far younger, yet the time was only five months before the story starts, at which point the Sue is nine); showing no reasons why her Sue should be at Wammy's House in the first place.


Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

This is what I get for all my NEEDS MOAR ROGER-ing at fandom, isn't it?Collapse )

This one was just bizarre, in the fact that it read more like a middle piece out of a series devoted to someone's OC. What was the deal with the bugs? Was the Sue really supposed to be eight or nine at the start of this story, or was she intended to be younger, and the Suethor made a mistake of not specifying? And what was up with all the thrown-in-for-no-reason character studies?

Jan. 19th, 2009

Smile!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

Story Or Series Title: A Weaklings Heart
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Mist123

Full Name (plus titles if any): June. The Suethor makes a point of saying the Sue has no last name because she's had so many aliases since she started being L's "cornier." USELESS TRIVIA: I skimmed the story once before putting it on my list of stories to feature, then did a read through, and not until I began compiling information on this one did I realize I'd been reading "cornier" as courier.
Full Species(es): another tragically left-behind-by-his-death L girlfriend
Hair Color (include adjectives): "long brown hair" that hangs "languidly down her back" due to being "uncared for a very long time." Prior to L's death was ordinarily dyed odd colors.
Eye Color (include adjectives): "dull and listless" green eyes that were "once so bright."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Too thin from "having stopped eating almost entirely in the last few years."
Special Possessions (if any): Employed as "youngest cornier in the world" by way of becoming a coroner by age fifteen.

Annoying Origin: Her father worked in a hospital, and for unexplained reasons, she meets L there, argues with him for six hours straight, then becomes the youngest coroner in the world while somehow working with L and Watari "as they cracked cases around the world."
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: L's true love, "was like a sister" to Near.
Annoying Special Abilities: "youngest cornier in the world at the tender age of fifteen"
Other Annoying Traits: Thinking Near would care about her enough to become uncharacteristically physically affectionate in order to comfort her.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Tragic is not the image you're giving me here.Collapse )

I can believe Near lying to someone, I just don't think he'd care enough about this Sue to bother.Collapse )

...at least she dies?Collapse )

This was originally posted on Quizilla. IMO, it should have stayed there.

Jan. 18th, 2009

Smile!

omgwutsayu

Reviving L so your Sue can angst even harder when you kill him a second time!

Story Or Series Title: Girl with a Lock, Detective with a Key
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Skai07

Full Name (plus titles if any): Manami Saika, nicknamed Sai, alias Misaki
Full Species(es): L's tru luv Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): "chestnut haired," "long warm chestnut hair," "chest nut sort of coloured hair" -- every description of her hair contains chestnut. Even one of the A/Ns uses it.
Eye Color (include adjectives): dark brown, "chocolate brown eyes"
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): a Death Note with the letter S on the cover, her own personal shinigami, a mansion with a rose garden that L gave her.

Annoying Origin: A shinigami named Sin was watching the Sue from the shinigami realm, having been "entranced" by the her smile, and rescues her from "being chased by some drunk bastard" by dropping his Death Note on the drunk so the drunk can see him. Sin then frightens the drunk into falling off a pier, which drowns him. Coincidentally, Sin pulls this stunt before Ryuk does his own dropping-a-Death-Note-into-the-human-world, but the Suethor makes sure to have Ryuk continually complain to Sin over how bored he is, so she can give all the credit to Sin by making Ryuk copy him.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: L's "secret" girlfriend. BFFs with a shinigami. Enemies of Light, and, odd as it sounds, Mello and Matt. Is not in the Japanese Task Force but can get into their headquarters at any time, because she's more competent than them and needs to fix their screw ups.
Annoying Special Abilities: Shows up moments before L's death (Watari doesn't die in this story), after which Light helps her bring L's corpse to a hotel room (it's never said why Watari would allow this, as the Sue isn't explaining why she's doing this), after which her shinigami takes her to the shinigami realm to meet with the king, who allows the Sue to gamble to bring back L.
Other Annoying Traits: Is supposed to be a secret, but somehow everyone connected with L knows of her relationship with him. For some reason the Sue gets monumentally offended by being called L's lover instead of his girlfriend. Mello is rendered OOC by being angered at L living after all, and he vows to outdo L by catching Kira first, which can only be done by him and Matt (who gets shinigami eyes) kidnapping and "breaking" the Sue. Also, Mello inexplicably becomes a shinigami at the end, both because the reviewers were asking for him to be brought back and for the Suethor to have a flashy ending promising a sequel.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Suethor logic.Collapse )

Mello has so much respect for L that he tries to shoot him.Collapse )

Oh, I spoke too soon. Kira IS still in this story.Collapse )

The Suethor has Matsuda and Aizawa attempting to handcuff Light and at the same time, not paying attention enough so Light can successfully grab Matsuda's gun and shoot L. Multiple times. After the Sue gets to dramatically angst over L's dead body, she's about to shoot Light dead (after he's suddenly tied to a chair), but Matsuda steals the gun from her and steals her glory by shooting Light himself, as he did in canon, only now with all dramatic, epic badassedness completely ruined, courtesy of the Suethor's retconning.

- crossposted to marysues

Jan. 17th, 2009

Squee mode!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

Story Or Series Title: Game!
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: jychan

Full Name (plus titles if any): Shigeru Lawliet, alias Ryuzaki Shiho. Calls herself "Mistress Of Disguise" in third chapter; L calls her the same in final chapter.
Full Species(es): L's wife Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): n/a
Eye Color (include adjectives): n/a
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): L as a spouse, L's kid

Annoying Origin: She met L in Wammy's House and they fell in love.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Member of the Japanese Task Force. After L's "death" Mello and Near together take down Kira, but only succeed because of her influence.
Annoying Special Abilities: Manages to be included in every situation that goes down during the Kira Investigaton no matter that there's no useful reason for her to be included--attends classes with Light and L, is brought on the rescue-Matsuda-operation, retcons the L and Light fight so she herself is the one who stops it, and so on.
Other Annoying Traits: Is with L, during the Kira case, and making no secret of the fact she's L's wife. Uses L's real name in the Japanese Task Force headquarters when she's first there, despite the other members being able to walk in the room at any moment; makes L act physically affectionate with her in public. Honestly, most of the time, this is just straight up Death Note with no more change than commentary from her character, except for the times she has the Sue "save the day" by solving conflict or being the first to figure out things, and all the added scenes of her and L acting what appears to be the Suethor's idea of "married."

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Bringing your spouse into a top secret investigation is a great way to ensure your enemy doesn't have ways of getting even more information on you.Collapse )

The Sue's reaction to Light and Misa's faux!execution.Collapse )

What...the...hell...?Collapse )

- crossposted to marysues

Jan. 16th, 2009

Pouty Face!

omgwutsayu

(no subject)

Story Or Series Title: Without a Goodbye: Your Mural
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: TawakeNix

Full Name (plus titles if any): Mana
Full Species(es): artist!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): long, ebony hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): are described as "glaucous" near the end
Unusual Markings/Colorations:
Special Possessions (if any): an armload of trophies from all the art shows she's won.

Annoying Origin: Award-winning artistic resident of Wammy's House. (Why are they all artists? And if that's such an important aspect, why not just use Linda--who canonically is an excellent artist--and flesh her out?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: In love with Mello. Is the third person told of L and Watari's deaths not because it relates to her more than it does the rest of the orphanage, but because she's nearby, having been eavesdropping on Mello while he and Near were getting the news.
Annoying Special Abilities: Ironically believes she "rivaled Near when it came to learning to seal off emotions, or at least learning how to hide her flooding emotions" though she's emotive from start to finish in this story. Given how the story goes, it's quite an out-there thing to suddenly claim, and becomes downright nonsensical when using Near as the standard.
Other Annoying Traits: Is greeted by the majority of Wammy's House when coming back, because they're all "so caring" and so proud of her for winning art prizes.

Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:

Roger and Watari are pervs.Collapse )

Yes. She's a mirror-image of Near, in not showing emotion.Collapse )

For something that's supposed to be a secret, Roger's awfully quick to give her all the details. Especially as she has no need of them and now there's an added danger of more people knowing of the situation.Collapse )

Mello has more pressing concerns at this point than catering to your declaration of love.Collapse )

Even the author thought the character was a Mary Sue and says she did editing when a reviewer confirmed her suspicions. I don't know how much it helped, as I didn't read the original and so have no idea how much change happened. The writing style is quite decent and this actually could have worked as a pretty good story, but the Suethor never lets up on over-focusing on her character, and has a consistent habit of summing up events/characteristics/details as the opposite of what they are without intent of being ironical, which...makes it look like she doesn't know what she's talking about, in her own story, and is just trying to cram more detail onto her character.

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